Makeup is Confusing

 

1) WHAT THE HELL IS MY FOUNDATION SHADE?!

Trust me, I have no idea.

I decide to find an analogy for how confusing it is finding foundation/concealer shades and decided on coding.

(Not really I just really messed up trying to set some nice colours and backgrounds for this blog post. Clearly, I’m no tech-whiz. Seriously. Here’s what I coded, I think I forgot something important from the lessons at school. Or I’m just dumb:)

This is how bad I am with computers, I just tried for roughly 10 minutes to put the image onto this page and failed. That’s how hard it is for me to work this stupid machi-

THIS IS THE COMPUTER TALKING. ALICE IS DEAD, MUA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!! SHE DARED CALL ME A STUPID MACHI-ow!]

And I’m back, the only reason being that heaven wouldn’t take me and they were afraid I’d take over if put in hell. 😉

Jk, the computer is pathetic and thought that because water kills electronics, it must kill humans too so now I’m wet and grumpy, but still very much alive.

So apart from concealer and foundation and other makeup shades etc being impossible to figure out, there are some other really befuddling things about makeup.

2) NUDE LIPSTICKS

Despite it being handy to have an image of some of these in case a creep asks you to send nudes, I find myself cursing the day someone decided red lipstick was too OTT and wearing no lipstick was below them regularly.

a) People say that the perfect colour is the same colour as your nipple. How are you meant to find that out in the shop?

Shop assistant: Excuse me Ma’am, but WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

Me: I don’t know!!! They told me that the shade would be this colour, but life is killing me and I don’t know what to do!!!!!!!! –sobs uncontrollably-

Shop assistant: Nude lipsticks, huh? Been there, done that.

b) you then end up with a dull brown colour which is just depressing because this is your perfect colour in your genetic makeup and you were expecting a pretty pink but no, your brain just laughed and went: “Hey, today lets make our nipples the most horrible shade ever!”

c) If you get a shade too pale you look like a weird ’90s chick rather than someone from 2018.

d) Have you ever tried to buy nude lipsticks online and accidentally pressed search before you typed ‘lipsticks’ so you only searched for nudes? And then your mother walked in? Life has never been so awkward.

3) It clogs your pores. WHYYYYY?!

Anyways, sorry ti was short-bye!!!!!!!

Alice x

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