Breaks

You may have noticed that I have neglected to post for a while. (Awkward silence) WordPress isn’t working on my computer. I’ve taken a break to chill. It’s not working. Have you ever had a day when you smile and laugh and then go to bed and let Niagara Falls spill out of your eyelids? Maybe. Have you had it practically every night for a month-ish? Maybe not. That’s how it feels to hate yourself. To me. Is it possible to just rewind your life to a part where you were peaceful in the middle of the night and just lie there, breathing in the smell of air. Not stress, negativity or serious lack of sleep. Air. It’s not possible. Not possible to freeze time and lie there, breathing and focusing on your breaths, like meditation but slowly unwinding every single thing you’ve ever done wrong? Maybe its all my fault. I can’t help feeling that I never noticed what a horrible person I am. Your parents influence your behaviour when you are young and I used to be very close to my mum. then, the other day, I met up with her and she pointed to a girl’s legs and said ‘Her tights have so many holes!’. I was shocked. Later on, she commented to me on a girls hair ‘she looks like a badger. Major faux pas!’ What gave her the authority to say that? I mean, I know for a fact that my mums fashion sense is… less than conventional. But what horrified me was that I remembered a time where I would have laughed and agreed. Even worse, I think things like that. Hurtful, scathing remarks and I know that other people do too. I wanted to address this problem on my blog but I have to major blocks.
1. WordPress wasn’t working
2. I had no idea how to express it.
So I took a break from blogging and yeah, it didn’t really help so I guess its time to work, blog and cry.

Sorry for the negative blog post
Bl
Alice x

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